![]() If you’re a fan of classic science fiction from the likes of Ray Bradbury, Isaac Asimov, and Robert A. Heinlein, you’re in luck. Archive.org now has a massive. Mobile toplist for mobile web sites. We have over 2000 registered sites. Download the free trial version below to get started. Double-click the downloaded file to install the software. Action Nonton Movie Ninja She-Devil (2009) Nonton Kunoichi Film Semi Jepang Resident Evil: Vendetta (2017) Subtitle Indonesia Security (2017) The Saint (2017. Is Electromagnetic Hypersensitivity a Real Illness? The National Radio Quiet Zone (NRQZ) is a 1. West Virginia, Virginia, and part of Maryland that heavily restricts radio transmissions and other electromagnetic radiation on the same spectrum. Download Transformers Galaxy Force Sub Indo Movie StreamingSince 1. 95. 8, the ban minimizes interference with the National Radio Astronomy Observatory, home to the world’s largest fully steerable radio telescope. In recent years, however, the NRQZ has been a safe haven for sufferers of electromagnetic hypersensitivity (EHS), which is not currently recognized as a medical diagnosis according to the World Health Organization. Folks claiming to suffer from EHS reports a variety of symptoms, which include dermatological issues, like redness or burning sensations, and other symptoms, such as fatigue, heart palpitations, and nausea. Fans of the television series Better Call Saul experienced the strange and exasperating malady through the unraveling of Michael Mc. Kean’s Chuck Mc. Gill—a hard- nosed lawyer and former bright star of his profession who wrapped himself in space blankets, lit his home with lanterns, and made guests leave their mobile phones in the mailbox outside. So far, results of EHS studies have been inconsistent. In fact, subjects experienced symptoms whether or not they were exposed to real electromagnetic fields. Double- blind experiments (where neither the subject nor the researcher know if the subject is being exposed to real or sham electromagnetic fields) showed no evidence of symptoms being caused by electromagnetic fields. In this week’s Giz Asks, we talk to doctors, researchers, and medical field workers with a variety of opinions, from mainstream to fringe. Is EHS ever a valid medical diagnosis? Does it even matter if EHS is a real disease since people say they feel legitimate pain? Is it possible to overcome EHS if you come to realize you don’t actually have a problem and it’s simply the culmination of some kind of obsession or paranoia? Dr. Jonathan Pham. Doctor and medical researcher working on COSMOS (an international study investigating whether long term mobile phone and RF- EMF technologies cause adverse health outcomes), Department of Epidemiology and Biostatistics (a unit that specialises in environmental EMF research) at Imperial College London. In the past decade, the use of mobile phones and other wireless technologies has become widespread in our everyday lives, not only in our homes but also at workplaces and schools. These technologies emit electromagnetic fields (EMF) in the radiofrequency range. A small number of individuals have reported a range of symptoms which they attribute to EMF exposure. This has been referred to as electromagnetic hypersensitivity (EHS). For some individuals these symptoms can be mild and for others it can be severely disabling, precluding them from being able to work or do simple daily tasks like cooking or self- care. Unfortunately, very little is known about the physiological mechanism by which EHS causes symptoms. Despite its name, a number of studies have shown no correlation between EHS symptoms and RF- EMF exposure. Given the lack of evidence linking EMF exposure and EHS, other triggers for this illness have been proposed. These include other environmental factors like noise and lighting as well as psychological factors such as stress and mental illness. Studies in this regard are, unfortunately, limited. As to the question whether this is a real disease: despite the unlikely link between EMF and symptoms of EHS, I would say that individuals suffering from this subset of symptoms warrant medical care and relief of discomfort, just as individuals suffering from any other condition. What makes this difficult is our current lack of understanding of this condition: whether it represents one condition or a collection, what the real triggers are, and whether it is physiological, environmental or psychological in nature. Therefore, further research is needed in this field, which will be essential in guiding quality medical care for these individuals. James Hamblin, MDHost of the video series If Our Bodies Could Talk, Senior Editor for The Atlantic. I love Better Call Saul and thought it did a good job showing the complexity of a disorder like this. It would be inappropriate to say it isn’t real. ![]() I think that’s pretty straightforward as a thing in life, don’t deny the reality of other people’s suffering The question is, are the symptoms caused by electromagnetic fields, and in what sense? That’s where it gets tricky in terms of people arguing fake- or- real. I think of it as something analogous to a phobia—and I know this isn’t a perfect comparison, but—think about a really extreme “fear of heights,” acrophobia. If you take him to the observation deck of a skyscraper and make him look down, even if he’s behind glass or whatever other barrier that makes it impossible for him to fall, and he knows he can’t fall, he can still have every symptom of a person whose body is in real crisis—racing heart, surging blood pressure, stress hormones pumping. If he already had cardiovascular disease, he could be brought to the point of having a heart attack, and that could kill him. You killed him. And if you sit there and yell “fake!” that’s not insensitive, it’s ignorant, possibly legally tenuous. So that’s real, even though if that same person were brought to the edge blindfolded, he’d have no symptoms. The mechanism of the reaction works via perception of height, not height itself. And I think it can be helpful to think of electromagnetic “hypersensitivity” in the same way. We have no reason, to my knowledge, to believe that the electromagnetic radiation from a light bulb can directly cause a severe reaction in the same way peanut can imperil an allergic person. The mechanism is different and needs to be treated accordingly, but there’s no reason to think of one as real and another not, or to compare how valid either person’s suffering is at all. Jeffrey Mogil, Ph. D. Head of Pain Genetics Lab at Mc. Gill University, E. P. Taylor Professor of Pain Studies, Canada Research Chair in the Genetics of Pain (Tier I), Director of the Alan Edwards Centre for Research on Pain. I don’t think people can create pain in their minds. Real diseases produce real pain, and just because EHS has no current medical explanation doesn’t mean it’s not real. Fibromyalgia was thought not to be “real” until imaging studies showed cortical activation in the same brain areas as “real” pain, and now we know that some reasonable percentage of fibromyalgics actually have small fiber polyneuropathy, which is only diagnosable with specialized biopsy staining. That being said, it is far from credible that electromagnetic radiation of the frequencies and intensities in current use could produce any actual pathology, so I remain extremely skeptical of this particular “disorder.”Harriet A. Hall, MDRetired family physician and former Air Force flight surgeon, Skeptic magazine columnist, contributing editor to Skeptic and Skeptical Inquirer, medical advisor and author at Quackwatch. It is not real. When sufferers have been tested, they have not been able to tell whether the electronic devices are turned on. They are indeed suffering, and blaming their symptoms on EHS only distracts from seeking the real cause of their symptoms and helping them. Of course it matters whether it is real or not: contact with reality is much more effective than imaginary beliefs in solving problems. David O. Carpenter, MDDirector of Institute for Health and the Environment, a Collaborating Centre of the World Health Organization at the University at Albany. Electromagnetic hypersensitivity is a real disease. And it does matter if it is real or not. Clearly some people suffer from chronic ills and would like to blame EMFs, when in fact they are not electrosensitive. There are likely many more people who are electrosensitive but have not identified the cause of their symptoms. The reason that it does matter is that if one is really sensitive to EMFs you can reduce your symptoms by avoiding excessive exposure. This is especially important for those who are electrosensitive but haven’t identified the cause. There are other causes of similar non- specific symptoms as well, such as chemical exposures, so not all of the symptoms of those who are not electrosensitive are due to psychological problems, even though some are.
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![]() Party Ben - The Sixx Mixx. The Sixx Mixx was my LIVE 1. June 2. 7, 2. 00. Dec. 3. 0, 2. 00. In honor of its 1. I'm remastering the original shows and posting them here as 3. Downloads are direct file links (right- click and select "save as") or links to Mediafire, although many episodes tripped Mediafire's automatic copyright scan and thus only have direct downloads. Please e- mail me at partyben@yahoo. The mp. 3 files are tagged with the displayed artwork, date and episode title, as well as a full tracklisting in the "Lyrics" tab. SIXX MIXX 1. 11 - 1. Remaster download: 7. MB mp. 3Listen: Original broadcast version download: 3. MB mp. 3Listen: Sixx Mixx 1. The Final Countdown - Top Ten Sixx Mixx Mashups of 2. Foo Fighters vs. Starsailor "Foo To The Floor" (Dj Zebra)9. ![]() Tegan & Sara vs. Mylo "Walking With A Ghost In Paris" (Party Ben)8. Strings Songs Download- Listen to Strings songs MP3 free online. Play Strings hit new songs and download Strings MP3 songs and music album online on Gaana.com. Bravery vs. Mia "An Honest M. I. A." (A+D)7. Beastles "I Feel Fine Right Now" (dj BC)6. Lovemakers vs. 5. Cent "Shake That Ass"5. Olivia Newton John & John Travolta vs. Dre & Snoop "You're The One That I Want In The Next Episode" (Disfunctional DJ)4. Bloc Party Vs. Nine Inch Nails "Bloc Of Nails" (Tim. G)3. G'n'R vs. Beatles – Sgt. Pepper's Paradise (Jimmi Jammes)2. Lovemakers Vs. Trans- X "Lovemakers On Video" (Matt Hite)1. Eagles vs. Green Day "Greenday Massacre" (Team. Commentary: Well, out with a bit of a whimper, here, since we'd already done the "all time" mashups show for Episode 1. But since the show's ending was sorta sprung on me I didn't exactly have a ton of time to come up with a blockbuster finale. Anyway, as shows go, it ain't so bad, and those are some quality tracks, for sure, a well rounded list of some of the finest mashups of the era. An there you have it, that's it, no more mixxes. I did continue to produce intermittent half- hour shows for 9. Sixx Mixxez; I'll look around the hard drive and if any seem to be worth posting I'll get them up. Coming soon I'll have Sixx Mixx Qualitative Analysis wherein I'll find out the songs, artists, and mashups played the most over the show's run. But for now, happy new year everybody. Party Ben Scientific Sixx Mixx Score: 6/1. SIXX MIXX 1. 10 - 1. Right- click for remaster download: 7. MB mp. 3Listen: Sixx Mixx 1. Christmas Edition. DJ John – The Christmas Massacre of Charlie Brown (Party Ben re- edit)2. DJ Riko featuring Marcy vs. White Stripes – My Chimney. Jackson 5 – Here Comes Santa Claus. DJ Riko - Boogaloo and Holly (Frank Sinatra vs. Big Boss Man)5. Soulwax – Last Christmas. Derek B – Chillin' with Santa. Run- DMC – Christmas in Hollis. Paul Mc. Cartney vs. J- Lo – Christmas on the Block (GHP mashup)9. Dandy Warhols vs. Mousse T – Horny Christmas (Loo & Placido mashup)1. Cheekyboy – Ice Ice Snow. Waitresses – Christmas Wrapping (Lionel Vionel remix)1. Wayne Newton – Jingle Bell Hustle. Tenchi Muyo vs. The Singing Dogs - Jingle Bells. Jet vs. ??? – Stop Christmas. Boston vs. a variety of stuff – Christmas in Boston (Too Many JDs mashup)Commentary: I should really credit the Christmas episodes to DJ Riko, whose "Mixmas" shows provided much of the raw material. This is actually a more ambitious and dense episode than the 2. Christmas show, and a little less melancholy (no Low here). So, happy holidays, everybody. Party Ben Scientific Sixx Mixx Score: 6/1. SIXX MIXX 1. 09 - 1. Artwork: Henri Matisse, "Dancers II" (detail), 1. Right- click for remaster download: 7. MB mp. 3Listen: Right- click for download of broadcast version: 3. MB mp. 3Sixx Mixx 1. Tarted- Up Rerun Edition 1. Lady Sovereign – Random. Sandstorm vs. Nine Inch Nails – Superonly (Fettdog mashup)3. Led Snooppelin – Drop it Like It's Love (Party Ben mashup)4. Super Mario Brothers vs. MIA – Supergalangalang (cry. The Beastles – I Feel Fine Right Now (DJ BC mashup)6. Lynyrd Skynyrd vs. Nelly – Sweet Home Country Grammar (Mei- Lwun mashup)7. Beck – Ghettochip Malfunction (Hell Yes remix by 8- Bit)8. Chemical Brothers vs. Red Hot Chili Peppers – Galvanize Around the World (Party Ben mashup)9. Billie Squire vs. Digital Underground – Humpty Stroke (Party Ben mashup)1. Siouxsie & the Banshees vs. Out. Kast – Unknown Title (El Mannion mashup)1. Happy Mondays – Step On. Run DMC – Peter Piper. DJ Riko – The Whistle Song. Olivia Newton John & John Travolta vs. Dr. Dre & Snoop Dog - You're the One that I Want in the Next Episode (Disfunctional DJ mashup)Commentary: Another Metreon/Basic Project Dancers episode, and with the insanity of the holidays and our annual Christmas concert I guess I didn't really have time for a totally from scratch new episode, but this is still a bit of fun, with a surprisingly excellent of the long- forgotten Sandstorm with NIN, my why- didn't- I- release- it Humpty Stroke, and a fun little Happy Mondays section from Episode 7. The show is mostly notable for the first appearance of the legendary Grease/Snoop mashup that was LIVE 1. Mashup of the Week" in 2. January (as well as inciting backlash from hip local weekly newspapers). Party Ben Scientific Sixx Mixx Score: 5/1. SIXX MIXX 1. 08 - 1. Right- click for remaster download: 7. MB mp. 3Listen: Right- click for download of broadcast version: 3. MB mp. 3Sixx Mixx 1. Sixx Mixx With a Baseball Bat Edition. Eric B & Rakim vs. The White Stripes - Paid for my Doorbell (Party Ben mashup)2. AC/DC vs. The White Stripes - Black Doorbell (DJ Zebra mashup)3. Modest Mouse vs. Amerie - One Thing 2 Float On (Tasha mashup)4. Beck - Shake Shake Tambourine (Black Tambourine Ad Rock remix)5. Gorillaz - Dare (JRSNCHZ remix)6. Gorillaz - Dare (Dave Aude remix)7. Franz Ferdinand - Do You Want To (Max Tundra remix)8. The Lovemakers vs. Trans- X - Lovemakers on Video (Matt Hite mashup)9. Azzido da Bass vs. Dire Straits - Money for Dooms Night (Lionel Vinyl mashup)1. Depeche Mode vs. Green Day - Just Can't Get Enough September (Party Ben mashup, inspired by Team. The Prodigy vs. The White Stripes - Voodoo Stripes (DJ Zebra mashup)1. Freestyle - Don't Stop the Rock. The White Stripes vs. Gwen Stefani vs. Tony Basil - Mickey's Orchid (Fidelski mashup)1. The Beatles vs. Batman - To The Taxmobile (Lenlow mashup)1. Fatboy Slim vs. Beatles vs. U2 - Vertigo Tripper (DJ Reno mashup)1. Peanut Butter Jelly Time! Commentary: As I explained down in the description for Sixx Mixx 6. LIVE 1. 05 broadcast from a special booth at downtown SF mall Metreon for a few weeks leading up to Christmas, and just as in 2. Bay Area dance troupe Basic Project to do a dance routine for the half hour of the Sixx Mixx, there in the middle of the mall. Despite or perhaps because of the inherent absurdity of it all, large crowds would gather to watch (the dancers were awesome) and I felt a certain responsibility to balance my usual alt- rock- drive- time audience concerns with "can some kids dance to this" concerns. In the case of this episode, these restrictions actually led to what I think is one of the best episodes of the Sixx Mixx, and since the three remaining episodes are sort of a half- rerun, a Christmas edition, and a finale countdown, it's sort of the last real episode. Perhaps not coincidentally, the White Stripes often talked about artistic restrictions actually serving as stimulus for creativity (their album De Stijl is named after an artistic movement with that as a philosophy), and the debut of one of my favorite mashups opens up the show. Astute listeners will notice slight differences in this version from the one I eventually "released" but most of the important parts are there. Zebra's take on Doorbell is stupendous as well, and the whole section through the Beck remix is really fun, I think. Actually, considering the episode goes from about 8. I love the Lionel Vinyl combo of Azzido da Bass and Dire Straits, and my silly Green Day/Depeche Mode thing is pretty funny. And of course, the viral phenom before we knew the word "viral," Peanut Butter Jelly Time, in its terrible- quality glory, ends the show on an ecstatically ridiculous note. To help intro the mix, I would hop on my motorcycle and weave through traffic downtown to get from the LIVE 1. Metreon, and hang out with afternoon superstar Jared, amidst all the holiday insanity, and I actually have really nice memories of all that, so maybe there's a wistfulness compromising my ability to come up with a proper scientific Sixx Mixx score, but I'm proud of this little episode. Party Ben Scientific Sixx Mixx Score: 9/1. SIXX MIXX 1. 07b - 1. Right- click for download of broadcast version: 3. MB mp. 3Listen: Sixx Mixx 1. Nine Inch Nails / Queens of the Stone Age Special. Fender Deluxe Nashville Telecaster Maple Fingerboard. FREE 2- Day Standard Ground Shipping. FREE Standard Ground Shipping. Enter a new zip to confirm we offer 2- day free standard ground shipping to your location. Type" : "item_page". Names" : "rr. 1,rr. AAG4. 5. 7. 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The outsider- art aesthetic feels appropriate to the relatable everyday content, and makes the art form unthreatening. Of course, Paint offered a few features to smooth things out, like the circle and line tools and the “fill” tool, all used in the stoner comics of the early 1. Crucially, those circles still had jagged curves. The bright colors of stoner comics are flat, as MS Paint didn’t support gradients (without an elaborate hack). Contrast those pixellated lines with the slick, stylish face from this art tutorial: This slickness is built into Paint’s successor, Paint 3. D. From the moment you start sketching, Paint 3. More ways to shop: Visit an Apple Store, call 1-800-MY-APPLE, or find a reseller. Windows Live Messenger (formerly MSN Messenger) is a discontinued instant messaging client developed by Microsoft for Windows, Xbox 360, BlackBerry OS, iOS, Java ME. D smooths out your art. It also supports automatic selection tools and content- aware fill to rival Photoshop’s.)By automatically improving art, Paint 3. D hides the process behind the image. Paint’s sloppiness is probably why rage comics got so popular. Looking at a rage comic, you can tell exactly how it was drawn, and how you might draw one yourself. By delivering exactly what the artist draws, MS Paint forms an image that the viewer can mentally reverse- engineer and imitate. Unless you go absolutely nuts with it. Reddit user Toweringhorizon painstakingly assembled the drawing “To a Little Radio” using MS Paint tools like the oil brush, stretching the medium while maintaining a pixelated look. Do not try this at home. Concerned OnePlus 5 users have been reporting online that they’re having difficulties making 911 calls. It’s unclear if all OnePlus 5.It’s one of the top submissions to MS Paint subreddit, a beautiful collaborative art gallery. Scrolling through this art feels like flipping through the sketchbook of the most artistic kid in high school. There’s an accepted roughness, a desired minimalism. For example, the exquisite raindrops in the work above are reflected in a flat, featureless tabletop. Like a transistor radio, Paint might be showing its age, but this tenacious little gadget should not be underestimated.“To a Little Radio” doesn’t even come close to testing Paint’s limits. As we say goodbye to the app that shaped an era, let us watch this bizarrely soundtracked time lapse of drawing Santa Claus in MS Paint on Windows 7 over the course of 5. We can only believe this is real because faking it would be even harder. Maybe Don't Tell President Trump Any of Your Secrets. President Donald Trump hates leaks. Well, he hates leaks about himself. The president is 1. Russian officials in the Oval Office or telling the world about “off the record” conversations he has with CEOs. And it’s a great lesson for anyone thinking of confiding in the 4. President of the United States. Just don’t. President Trump has been touting the newly announced Foxconn plant in Wisconsin that will reportedly bring jobs and an influx of cash to the state. But he insists that the amount of money invested by Foxconn might even be higher than reported. How does Trump know? He had an “off the record” talk with the CEO who told him as much.“He told me off the record he may go [to] $3. Trump said Tuesday in a quote first noticed by CNBC. But he told me that off the record, so I promised I wouldn’t tell anybody.”Well, so much for that. Trump’s comments came during a press conference at the White House yesterday about small businesses. Foxconn chairman Terry Gou has yet to respond about the off the record conversation. You can watch a short video of Trump talking about their chat below. Secrets aside, the Foxconn deal definitely has more issues than the conservative press have been letting on. The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel has reported that Wisconsin already waives taxes on manufacturing profits, so the state will effectively be writing huge checks to Foxconn for the company to set up shop. From the Journal Sentinel: The subsidies for the deal would amount to nearly 5. Wisconsin taxpayers to secure a manufacturing plant in the state. Instead of getting the previous state standard of 7 cents in tax credits for every $1 in qualifying payroll checks to workers, Foxconn would get 1. Gov. Scott Walker released Friday. And because Wisconsin already waives almost all taxes on manufacturing profits in the state, these incentives represent not a lost opportunity at collecting revenue but an obligation to pay cash to Foxconn out of the state treasury for up to 1. When including a $1. Tuesday. Was the CEO of Foxconn blowing smoke up Trump’s ass? Did he even say what Trump says he did? We really don’t know. This is the guy who recently said that the Boy Scouts called him up to thank him for giving the greatest speech ever. The Boy Scouts actually apologized to parents for the politicization of the Boy Scout Jamboree and denies that anyone from the organization said it was the best speech ever. But the lesson remains. If you want to keep a secret, don’t tell Donald Trump. Why Your Team Sucks 2. Cincinnati Bengals. Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2. 01. 7 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here. Your team: Cincinnati Bengals. Those towels are stronger than you think. Your 2. 01. 6 record: 6- 9- 1. Congrats, Bengals! For the first time in six years, you did NOT lose in the Wild Card round of the playoffs. Galactic leap forward. But if you’re a Bengals fan still pining for the team’s signature touch of consistent nincompoopery, rest assured that Pacman Jones DID tell a cop to suck his dick this offseason. The stability warms my heart. Also, the Bengals had the distinction of subjecting British fans to their first- ever tie game. Thanks, Mike Nugent! And the Ravens outsmarted them by committing double holding penalties to run out the clock on them. When you want to test out a new, innovative, possibly extralegal way to humiliate an opponent, you do it against the Bengals. Your coach: Marvin Lewis. ![]() ![]() Again. Hey, guess who doesn’t like the new celebration rules?“I’m not for that at all,” Lewis, who is on the NFL Competition Committee, said of the change. We had a good standard, and the whole standard has always been, you want to teach people how to play the game the correct way and go about it the correct way, and that’s not a very good example for young people.” My man, somehow I doubt celebrating will be much of a problem for you. Your quarterback: Andy Dalton. Again. Let’s see how Andy fared without support from wideouts Marvin Jones and Mohamed Sanu: Oh. Well, that’s not good. Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2017 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in. The Times of Northwest Indiana - the source for crime, business, government, education and sports news and information in the Region. Turns out the strategy of hucking every ball at A. J. Green until his legs snap is a misguided one. From here on out, Andy Dalton will be the default comparison anytime a team is reluctantly wedded to a mediocre quarterback for a decade or more. He is an innings eater. Well, Kirk Cousins still throws horrible interceptions, but what are we gonna do? Start over? No, I’m afraid we’ve been Daltoned.” What’s new that sucks: Joe Mixon! I should have known. I should have known that the Bengals would be the team to suck it up and draft the ladypuncher. Asked how he looks, one Cincinnati staffer answered: “Like a beast.”I bet he does! He gets especially beasty if you happen to insult him at a deli. Keep in mind that this team was already in fine shape at running back with Gio Bernard and Jeremy Hill. And yet, those two just didn’t have the criminal panache that is requisite if you want to be a True Bengal.
Here’s Mike Brown tying his tongue in a knot to defend Mixon: “He’s a young guy. He turned 2. 1 [on Monday]. The incident that he was involved in was three years ago,” Brown said on Tuesday, via ESPN. He made a terrible mistake. He struck a young woman. He hurt her badly. It was a reflexive action in my mind, when I see the tape of it. I just think he acted without thought. But it was a terrible result.”Oh, it was a reflexive action! Well then that makes it FINE. I’m using that from now on. Officer, I’m so sorry I shot that street busker to death. But he started playing ‘Hotel California’ and I had a REFLEXIVE ACTION. Terrible result!” What other result does Mike Brown expect from a face punch? Did he expect daisies to sprout out of the lady’s nose when it happened? What in the living fuck, Mike? Mixon and John Ross were added to help offset the skill position losses that crippled Dalton a season ago. Meanwhile, the offensive line has completely fallen apart to the point where they had to bring Andre Smith’s tits back just to patch up the holes. Defensively, they signed the guy the Panthers cut after Julio Jones roasted him for 3. Good thing the Steelers don’t have a fleet of speedy and dangerous wideouts who could take advantage of such defensive liabilities! One of their former players took his dick out in church parking lot. What has always sucked: Bored with cripplingopposing players, linebacker and Big Fan Of The Principal’s Office Candy Dish Vontaze Burfict has taken up the fun habit of cheap- shotting his own teammates: Well now, how can you blame this poor wayward soul for the REFLEXIVE ACTION of knee- diving during a non- contact drill? That’s just hard- nosed football, far as I’m concerned. Anyway, your 2. 01. Bengals are pretty much the same as every Bengals outfit this decade. They’ve got enough talented players to get back to the playoffs and lose in the Wild Card round again. Dalton is inconsistent. Marvin is a clueless goober. Burfict is a shitbag. And presiding over all of it is Mike Brown, a man so cheap he makes Bud Selig look like Rick Ross. Brown wrote an open letter to fans last month, apparently unaware that virtually every Bengals fan is waiting for him to die. Here are a few of the highlights: Since we were formed in 1. Nippert Stadium, then at Riverfront Stadium, and now at Paul Brown Stadium. Your asshole stadium took money from schools. Also, I had no idea they once played in a joint called Nippert Stadium. THE BIG NIP. Memories of our first 4. So true. Like the time Chris Henry fell off a truck and died. You have shown us the way to six playoff appearances in the past eight years, including three AFC North division crowns. That did happen. I wonder what happened after they made the playoffs! Do you know the worst part of all this? For all of Mike Brown’s scumbaggery—from looting local coffers to surreptitiously bribing local aldermen to drafting the Joe Mixons of the world to skimping on hiring a formal scouting department—he still gets fawning knobjobs like this one from the local press. Mike fought to bring this football family into existence for his father. He professes a unique pride in keeping it a family business all these years. Many others across the league have failed, whether due to finances or in- fighting. God man, FUCK YOU. This is a billion- dollar franchise and you’re treating it like Uncle Pappy’s General Store? DIE. The guy who wrote this tripe goes on to list all the “family- owned” NFL teams, like they belong in the Smithsonian. That list (Fords, Browns, Mc. Caskeys, Bidwills, Davises) reads like a case for upping the estate tax to 1,0. Mike Brown is a loser who inherited his team from his old man and hasn’t won a goddamn thing. The man constantly whines about playing in a small market and wants the big boys to share with him even as he makes absolutely no effort to generate any local revenue. He is a liver- spotted turd. But in the NFL’s orbit, his deathly grip over this franchise is treated as some kind of wistful throwback. Yes, in an age of smartphones and self- driven cars, thank God some things remain constant, like MIKE FUCKING BROWN still being a rich old asshole who deserves to rot on a street corner for time eternity. Real heartwarming stuff. The repo man should have visited this franchise three decades ago. Did you know? Cincinnati is a more hideous Cleveland? Even Ohio doesn’t REALLY want you, Cincy. Also, five U. S. presidents are from there: William Howard Taft, Rutherford B. Hayes, Ulysses S. Grant, William Henry Harrison, and Benjamin Harrison. That reads a list of contenders vying to be the second- worst President in history. What might not suck: Those four games a year where Tyler Eifert isn’t hurt? MAGIC. Also, I can’t hate on your 2. Beats Skyline any day. HEAR IT FROM BENGALS FANS! Michael: I once saw Mike Brown at a First Watch restaurant. He ordered a bowl of soup and asked the server specifically if crackers were extra. Brendan: Mike Brown runs his organization as a hybrid of a 1. He’s like if you turned Jerry Jones inside- out. Dave: Marvin Lewis makes me wish I had more middle fingers. Michael: The Cincinnati Bengals are not worth your time anymore. Mike: Mark Twain properly defined Cincinnati as always being 1. Our play- calling in clutch moments seems to be holding dearly onto that idea. Zach: They’re apparently cool with Pacman being a mentor to Mixon. Jon: The Bengals haven’t won a playoff game since Odell Beckham Jr. And he’ll die of old age before they win another one. Andy: Pacman Jones spit on a nurse! Shaun: Given that Mike Brown loves saving money more than he loves his own child and has a pathological aversion to spending it, I don’t understand why he doesn’t just sell the team for an additional fortune and spend the rest of his years ecstatically farting into a couch stuffed with hundred dollar bills. Brendan: Last season the Bengals allowed 4. In the offseason, we proceeded to allow two linemen to walk away. |
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